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diagnosticmad [userpic]

Second Night of Insomnia--Fear outstretches its poisonous fangs and bites again

March 9th, 2011 (05:33 pm)

current state of consciousness: relieved
current ballad: Gloria-The Pointer Sisters

I spoke to the husband this morning. He called me about helping with his Olympus recorder and that's when I confessed to him I was afraid. I was totally frightened of the idea of following my path as an artist and somehow losing him in the process of my actualization. He thinks I can strike a healthy balance between my art and my private life.

I am just terrified.

I need sleep. But all I can think about is the days ahead and how things now in my life are going to be changing irrevocably. I feel relieved confessing this fear. I think I have been holding it in for a very long time.

I haven't felt this close to him in awhile. Maybe I just need to stop resisting my impulses...
except perhaps where Girl Scout cookies and ice cream are concerned in my dietary choices.

Later this afternoon when I wake up I think I might do something specifically artistic, like ink drawings or some haiku.